The Japanese are remarkably tidy in the matter of floors. They even remove their shoes at the doorway. A Japanese student in New York was continually distressed by the dirty hallwa...
The little boy interrupted his father's reading of the paper with a petition. "Please, Daddy, tell me the story about the Forty Thieves." The father, aroused from his absorption in...
The old colored man left the Methodist Church and joined the Baptist. Soon afterward, he encountered his former pastor, who inquired the reason for his change of sect. The old man...
"Oh! Are you really a mind-reader?" "Yes! I am." "Then I hope you aren't offended. I didn't mean what I thought about you." * * *
_Wife:_ "I'm afraid you'll think me rather extravagant, dear, but I spent ten dollars to-day on a boat, and a train, and a fire-engine, and a box of soldiers, and some nine pins fo...
The young lady, who was something of a food fadist, was on a visit to a coast fishing village. She questioned her host as to the general diet of the natives, and was told that they...
The Southern lady saw old 'Rastus setting out with his fishing tackle for a day on the river, and she deemed it a fitting time to rebuke him for his notorious idleness, since she a...
The master directed that the picture should be hung on the east wall; the mistress preferred the west wall. The servant drove the nail where his master directed, but when he was le...
_First Voter:_ "So Mr. Jones has been elected. You voted for him, of course?" _Second Voter:_ "No, I voted for the other man. You see, Mr. Jones supported Woman's Suffrage, which I...
_Wife:_ "_Two_ bottles of ginger ale, dear?" _He:_ "Why, yes. Have you forgotten that this is the anniversary of our wedding-day?" * * * _First Flapper:_ "The cheek of that conduct...
"Come over here!" called a friend to an intoxicated citizen whom he saw across the street. The man addressed blinked and shook his head. "Come over there?" he called back. "Why, it...
The clergyman was calling, when the youthful son and heir approached his mother proudly, and exhibited a dead rat. As she shrank in repugnance, he attempted to reassure her: "Oh, i...
_Teacher:_ "In which of his battles was King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden slain?" _Pupil:_ "I'm pretty sure it was the last one."
_She:_ "I am sorry to hear that they have separated. Is there no chance of their becoming reconciled?" _He:_ "Oh, they seem to be _quite_ reconciled." * * * _He:_ "By the bye, talk...
"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg." "Merciful providence!" his hea...
The young man at the summer resort, who had become engaged to the pretty girl, received information that led him to question her: "Is it true that since you came up here you've got...
Small Jimmie discussed with his chief crony the minister's sermon which had dealt with the sheep and the goats. "Me," he concluded, "I don't know which I am. Mother calls me her la...
The Scotchman who ran a livery was asked by a tourist as to how many the carryall would hold. "Fower generally," was the answer. "Likely sax, if they're weel aquaint."
One of the New York churches is notorious for its exclusiveness. A colored man took a fancy to the church, and promptly told the minister that he wished to join. The clergyman soug...
The great pugilist was superstitious and fond of lobster. When the waiter served one with a claw missing, he protested. The waiter explained that this lobster had been worsted in a...
Little Mary, who had fallen ill, begged for a kitten. It was found that an operation was necessary for the child's cure, and that she must go to the hospital. The mother promised t...
The visiting Englishman, with an eyeglass screwed to his eye, stared in fascinated horror at the ugliest infant he had ever seen, which was in its mother's arms opposite him in the...
The teacher directed the class to write a brief account of a baseball game. All the pupils were busy during the allotted time, except one little boy, who sat motionless, and wrote...
A servant, who indulged in sprees during which he spent all his money, was advised by his master to save against a rainy day. A week later, the master inquired if any saving had be...
An Irishman on a scaffolding four stories high heard the noon whistle. But when he would have descended, he found that the ladder had been removed. One of his fellow workmen on the...
"I suppose I must admit that I do have my faults," the husband remarked in a tone that was far from humble. "Yes," the wife snapped, "and in your opinion your faults are better tha...
The teacher talked on the four seasons, telling how in the spring the new life comes to the earth, with the growth of grasses and leaves and flowers, how this life matures in summe...
That celebrated statue, the Winged Victory, has suffered during the centuries to the extent of losing its head and other less vital parts. When the Irish tourist was confronted by...
The congressman from California was telling at dinner in the hotel of tuna fishing. "Just run out in a small motor boat," he explained, "and anything less than a hundred pounds is...
_Neighbour:_ "I hear that you had an actor employed on your farm." _Farmer:_ "Yes, and he's a fairly good actor, too. Why, I thought he was working the last week he was here." * *...