During an exciting game of football a player had two fingers of his right hand badly smashed, and on his way home from the ground he dropped into the doctor's to have them attended...
The mother called in vain for her young son. Then she searched the ground floor, the first story, the second, and the attic--all in vain. Finally, she climbed to the trap door in t...
The editor of the local paper was unable to secure advertising from one of the business men of the town, who asserted stoutly that he himself never read ads., and didn't believe an...
The distinguished actor had a large photograph of Wordsworth prominently displayed in his dressing-room. A friend regarded the picture with some surprise, and remarked: "I see you...
On the first morning of the voyage, the vessel ran into a nasty choppy sea, which steadily grew worse. There were twenty-five passengers at the captain's table for dinner, and he a...
The superstitious sporting editor of the paper condemned the "Horse Fair" by Rosa Bonheur. "Just look at those white horses!" he exclaimed disgustedly. "And not a red-headed girl i...
The farmer decided to give special attention to the development of his poultry yard, and he undertook the work carefully and systematically. His hired man, who had been with him fo...
One of our volunteers in the late war lost some of his first enthusiasm under the bitter experience of campaigning. One night at the front in France, while his company was statione...
A gentleman who was walking through a public gallery, where a number of artists were at work, overheard the following amusing conversation between a big, heavy-looking man, who was...
In a former generation, when elaborate doctrines were deemed more important by Christian clergymen than they are to-day, they were prone to apply every utterance of the Bible to th...
The court was listening to the testimony of the wife who sought a divorce. "Tell me explicitly," the judge directed the woman, "what fault you have to find with your husband." And...
The paying teller told mournfully of his experience with a strange woman who appeared at his wicket to have a check cashed. "But, madam," he advised her, "you will have to get some...
The father of a school boy in New York City wrote to the boy's teacher a letter of complaint. Possibly he welcomed the advent of prohibition--possibly not! Anyhow, the letter was a...
"I'm so glad to see you. And how did you enjoy your visit to the South?" "Oh, not very much! There wasn't a soul where I was staying except intimate friends." * * *
An old lady in the London parish of the famous Doctor Gill made a nuisance of herself by constant interference in the affairs of others. As a gossip she was notorious. It appeared...
A shipwrecked traveler was washed up on a small island. He was terrified at thought of cannibals, and explored with the utmost stealth. Discovering a thin wisp of smoke above the s...
At the wake, the bereaved husband displayed all the evidences of frantic grief. He cried aloud heart-rendingly, and tore his hair. The other mourners had to restrain him from leapi...
The urchin was highly excited, and well he might be when we consider his explanation: "They got twins up to sisters. One twin, he's a boy, an' one twin, she's a girl, an' so I'm a...
A victim of chronic bronchitis called on a well-known physician to be examined. The doctor, after careful questioning, assured the patient that the ailment would respond readily to...
The little boy had been warned repeatedly against playing on the lawn when it was damp. Saturday evening, his father heard him recite a Scripture verse learned for the Sunday schoo...
_Sister:_ "Hubby received an anonymous letter this morning informing him of something I did before we were married." _Brother:_ "Well, the best thing you can do is to confess." _Si...
A gentleman strolling alongside a canal observed an old negro and a colored boy fishing. A moment later, a splash was heard. The boy had fallen into the water. The old darky, howev...
The objector to prohibition spoke bitterly: "Water has killed more folks than liquor ever did." "You are raving," declared the defender of the Eighteenth Amendment. "How do you mak...
The debutante was alarmed over the prospect of being taken in to dinner by the distinguished statesman. "Whatever can we talk about?" she demanded anxiously of her mother. Afterwar...
The juryman petitioned the court to be excused, declaring: "I owe a man twenty-five dollars that I borrowed, and as he is leaving town to-day for some years I want to catch him bef...
_Belated Traveller_ (_surprised by a bull when taking a short cut to the station_): "By jove! I believe I shall catch that train after all." * * *
Cousin Willie, aged ten, came for a visit to Johnnie, aged twelve. Johnnie's mother directed him to take the visitor out to play with his boy friends in the neighborhood. "And be s...
In an English school, the examiner asked one of the children to name the products of the Indian Empire. The child was well prepared, but very nervous. "Please, sir," the answer ran...
A colored deacon who was the leader in a congregation down South, wrote to the bishop to explain the need of a minister for the church. He concluded his appeal as follows: "Send us...
He was a stout man, and his feet were big in proportion. He wore stout boots, too, with broad, square, sensibly-shaped toes; and when he came into the boot shop to buy another pair...