CURRAN, speaking of his loss of business in the Court of Chancery caused by Lord Clare's hostility to him, and of the consequent necessity of resuming nisi prius business, said: I...
AN eminent tallow-chandler was told that after his candles were burned down to the middle, not one of them would burn any longer. He was at first greatly enraged at what he deemed...
wrote. Jerrold.--No, I didn't. I said it was the worst book anybody ever wrote.
A LATE noble statesman, more famous for his wit than his love of music, being asked why he did not subscribe to the Ancient Concerts, and it being urged as a reason for it that his...
A BARRISTER entered the hall with his wig very much awry, of which he was not at all apprised, but was obliged to endure from almost every observer some remark on its appearance, t...
JERROLD and some friends were dining in a private room at a tavern. After dinner the landlord informed the company that the house was partly under repair, and requested that a stra...
WHILE the Beggar's Opera was under rehearsal at the Haymarket Theatre, in 1823, Miss Paton, who was to play the part of Polly, expressed a wish to sing the air of The Miser thus a...
AT one of the Holland-house Sunday dinner-parties, a year or two ago, Crockford's Club, then forming, was talked of; and the noble hostess observed, that the female passion for dia...
BLAYNEY said, in reference to several persons, all relations to each other, but who happened to have no descendants, that it seemed to be hereditary in their family to have no chil...
IF fat men ride, they tire the horse, And if they walk themselves--that's worse: Travel at all, they are at best, Either oppressors or opprest.
THE laird of M'N----b was writing a letter from an Edinburgh coffee-house, when a friend observed that he was setting at defiance the laws of orthography and grammar. I ken that we...
MR. JOHN CLERK, in pleading before the House of Lords one day, happened to say, in his broadest Scotch accent, In plain English, ma Lords; upon which Lord Eldon jocosely remarked,...
A POMPOUS parish clergyman felt his dignity mightily offended by a chubby-faced lad who was passing him without moving his hat. Do you know who I am, sir, that you pass me in that...
DIED from fatigue, three laundresses together all, Verdict,--had tried to wash a shirt marked Wetherall.[A] [A] Sir Charles Wetherall was noted for want of cleanliness.
A FORMER laird of Brotherton was on all occasions a man of few words. He had a favorite tame goose, and for hours together Brotherton and his silent companion sat by the fireside o...
PHILIP, Earl of Stanhope, whose dress always corresponded with the simplicity of his manners, was once prevented from going into the House of Peers, by a doorkeeper who was unacqua...
TO win the maid the poet tries, And sonnets writes to Julia's eyes, She likes a verse, but, cruel whim, She still appears a-verse to him.
ON the birth of a friend's son (now a well-known novelist), Sir David Wilkie was requested to become one of the sponsors for his child. Sir David, whose studies of human nature ext...
A BRAGGART ran away from battle, and gave as a reason, that a friend had written his epitaph, which had an excellent point in it, provided he attained the age of one hundred.
AT a grand review by George III. of the Portsmouth fleet in 1789, there was a boy who mounted the shrouds with so much agility as to surprise every spectator. The king particularly...
A PAINTER in the Waterloo Road had the following announcement displayed on the front of his house: The Acme of Stencil! A learned Theban in the same line in an adjoining street, in...
POPE the actor, well known for his devotion to the culinary art, received an invitation to dinner, accompanied by an apology for the simplicity of the intended fare--a small turbot...
A PERSON meeting with an acquaintance after a long absence, told him that he was surprised to see him, for he had heard that he was dead. But, says the other, you find the report f...
HOW do you find yourself to-day, said an old friend to Jack Reeve, as he met him going in dinner costume to the city. Thank you, he replied, the Lord Mayor finds me to-day.
WHILE Butler, needy wretch, was yet alive, No generous patron would a dinner give. See him, when starved to death and turned to dust, Presented with a monumental bust. The poet's f...
A YOUNG fellow once offered to kiss a Quakeress. Friend, said she, thee must not do it.--O, by Jove! but I must, said the youth. Well, friend, as thee hast sworn, thee may do it, b...
ALL that is necessary for the enjoyment of sausages at breakfast is confidence.
AT charity meetings, one Mould always volunteered to go round with the hat, but was suspected of sparing his own pocket. Overhearing one day a hint to that effect, he made the foll...
THEY cannot be complete in aught Who are not humorously prone; A man without a merry thought Can hardly have a funny bone.