Man-like is it to fall into sin, Fiend-like is it to dwell therein, Christ-like is it for sin to grieve, God-like is it all sin to leave. --_Friedrich von Logan_. "Now," said the c...
"Is she making him a good wife?" "Well, not exactly; but she's making him a good husband." A husband and wife ran a freak show in a certain provincial town, but unfortunately they...
WILLIE--"Pa!" PA--"Yes." WILLIE--"Teacher says we're here to help others." PA--"Of course we are." WILLIE--"Well, what are the others here for?" There was once a remarkably kind bo...
This is from an Irish priest's sermon, as quoted in Samuel M. Hussey's "Reminiscences of an Irish Land Agent": "'It's whisky makes you bate your wives; it's whisky makes your homes...
Life's an aquatic meet--some swim, some dive, some back water, some float and the rest--sink. I count life just a stuff To try the soul's strength on. --_Robert Browning_. May you...
A foreigner who attended a prayer meeting in Indiana was asked what the assistants did. "Not very much," he said, "only they sin and bray."
There was a young man of Dunbar, Who playfully poisoned his Ma; When he'd finished his work, He remarked with a smirk, "This will cause quite a family jar." _See also_ Families; Ma...
MRS. QUACKENNESS--"Am yo' daughtar happily mar'd, Sistah Sagg?" MRS. SAGG--"She sho' is! Bless goodness she's done got a husband dat's skeered to death of her!" "Where am I?" the i...
One evening just before dinner a wife, who had been playing bridge all the afternoon, came in to find her husband and a strange man (afterward ascertained to be a lawyer) engaged i...
_See_ Courtesy; Etiquet.
"A book-worm," said papa, "is a person who would rather read than eat, or it is a worm that would rather eat than read."
William Phillips, our secretary of embassy at London, tells of an American officer who, by the kind permission of the British Government, was once enabled to make a week's cruise o...
An instructor in a church school where much attention was paid to sacred history, dwelt particularly on the phrase "And Enoch was not, for God took him." So many times was this rep...
The insurance agent climbed the steps and rang the bell. "Whom do you wish to see?" asked the careworn person who came to the door. "I want to see the boss of the house," replied t...
In a certain town the local forecaster of the weather was so often wrong that his predictions became a standing joke, to his no small annoyance, for he was very sensitive. At lengt...
Charles Frohman was talking to a Philadelphia reporter about the importance of detail. "Those who work for me," he said, "follow my directions down to the very smallest item. To go...
An "Uncle Tom's Cabin" company was starting to parade in a small New England town when a big gander, from a farmyard near at hand waddled to the middle of the street and began to h...
Francis Wilson, the comedian, says that many years ago when he was a member of a company playing "She Stoops to Conquer," a man without any money, wishing to see the show, stepped...
Jenkins, a newly wedded suburbanite, kissed his wife goodby the other morning, and, telling her he would be home at six o'clock that evening, got into his auto and started for town...
A clergyman was quite ill as a result of eating many pieces of mince pie. A brother minister visited him and asked him if he was afraid to die. "No," the sick man replied, "But I s...
_See_ Age.
Superstition is a premature explanation overstaying its time.--_George Iles_.
LADY (to tramp who had been commissioned to find her lost poodle)--"The poor little darling, where did you find him?" TRAMP--"Oh, a man 'ad 'im, miss, tied to a pole, and was clean...
While campaigning in Iowa Speaker Cannon was once inveigled into visiting the public schools of a town where he was billed to speak. In one of the lower grades an ambitious teacher...
One mother who still considers Marcel waves as the most fashionable way of dressing the hair was at work on the job. Her little eight-year-old girl was crouched on her father's lap...
At a convention of Methodist Bishops held in Washington, the Bishop of New York made a stirring address extolling the powers and possibilities of his state. Bishop Hamilton, of Cal...
Here's to the dearest Of all things on earth. (Dearest precisely-- And yet of full worth.) One who lays siege to Susceptible hearts. (Pocket-books also-- That's one of her arts!) D...
During the winter the village preacher was taken sick, and several of his children were also afflicted with the mumps. One day a number of the devout church members called to pray...
It was at the private theatricals, and the young man wished to compliment his hostess, saying: "Madam, you played your part splendidly. It fits you to perfection." "I'm afraid not....
The colonel of a volunteer regiment camping in Virginia came across a private on the outskirts of the camp, painfully munching on something. His face was wry and his lips seemed to...