A YOUNG lady was told by a married lady, that she had better precipitate herself from off the rocks of the Passaic falls into the basin beneath than marry. The young lady replied,...
WHEN Messrs. Abbot and Egerton took the old Coburg Theatre for the purpose of bringing forward the legitimate drama, the former gentleman asked Hook if he could suggest a new name,...
A DIMINUTIVE attorney, named Else, once asked Jekyll: Sir, I hear you have called me a pettifogging scoundrel. Have you done so, sir?--No, sir, said Jekyll, with a look of contempt...
SEVERAL ex-members are announced as about to stand at the ensuing elections, and indeed it is probable many will have to do so after them,
YOU flatter me, said a thin exquisite the other day to a young lady who was praising the beauties of his moustache. For heaven's sake, ma'am, interposed an old skipper, don't make...
MR. PHILIP THICKNESSE, father of the late Lord Audley, being in want of money, applied to his son for assistance. This being denied, he immediately hired a cobbler's stall, directl...
HARRY WOODWARD, walking with a friend, met a most miserable object, who earnestly solicited their charity. On Woodward giving a few pence, his friend said, I believe that fellow is...
SOME of the friends of a famous painter, observed to him, that they never heard him bestow any praises but on his worst paintings. True, answered he; for the best will always prais...
THE collector in a country church, where a brief was read for a sufferer from fire, flattered himself that he had been unusually successful in the collection, as he fancied he saw...
HIS Lordship was accustomed to sleep during the Parliamentary harangues of his adversaries, leaving Sir Grey Cooper to note down anything remarkable. During a debate on ship-buildi...
THIS case is the strangest we've known in our life, The husband's a husband, and so is the wife.
A GENTLEMAN was applied to by a crossing-sweeper for charity. The gentleman replied, I will remember you when I return.--Please your honor, says the man, I'm ruined by the credit I...
YOUNG, the author of Night Thoughts, paid a visit to Potter, son of Archbishop Potter, who lived in a deep and dirty part of Kent, through which Young had scrambled with some diffi...
AN old lady who lived not far from Abbotsford, and from whom the Great Unknown had derived many an ancient tale, was waited upon one day by the author of Waverley. On Scott endeavo...
JUDGE CLAYTON was an honest man, but not a profound lawyer. Soon after he was raised to the Irish bench, he happened to dine in company with Counsellor Harwood, celebrated for his...
(On Lord ----'s delivering his speeches in a sitting position, owing to excessive gout.) IN asserting that Z. is with villany rife, I very much doubt if the Whigs misreport him; Si...
WHEN the Duke de Choiseul, who was a remarkably meagre-looking man, came to London to negotiate a peace, Charles Townsend, being asked whether the French government had sent the pr...
DID any of you ever see an elephant's skin? asked the master of an
JUDGE MAULE, in summing up a case of libel, and speaking of a defendant who had exhibited a spiteful piety, observed, One of these defendants, Mr. Blank, is, it seems, a minister o...
SYDNEY SMITH, after Macaulay's return from the East, remarked to a friend who had been speaking of the distinguished conversationalist: Yes, he is certainly more agreeable since hi...
SOME one jocularly observed to the Marquis Wellesley, that, in his arrangements of the ministry, his brother, the Duke, had thrown him overboard. Yes, said the Marquis; but I trust...
WHICH SIGNIFIES THE DROPPING OF THE CLOUDS FROM HEAVEN. THIS name's the best that could be given, As will by proof be quickly seen; For dropping from the clouds from Heaven, She wa...
LORD CHESTERFIELD, being told that a certain termagant and scold was married to a gamester, replied, that cards and brimstone made the best matches.
CURRAN, in cross-examining the chief witness of a plaintiff in an action for an assault, obliged him to acknowledge that the plaintiff had put his arm round the waist of Miss D----...
IN the midst of a stormy discussion, a gentleman rose to settle the matter in dispute. Waving his hands majestically over the excited disputants, he began:-- Gentlemen, all I want...
A BEGGAR in Dublin had been long besieging an old, gouty, testy gentleman, who roughly refused to relieve him. The mendicant civilly replied, I wish your honor's heart was as tende...
DR. THOMAS BROWN courted a lady for many years, but unsuccessfully, during which time it had been his custom to drink the lady's health before that of any other; but being observed...
JAMES SMITH used to tell, with great glee, a story showing the general conviction of his dislike to ruralities. He was sitting in the library at a country-house, when a gentleman p...
COME here, Johnny, and tell me what the four seasons are. Young Prodigy: Pepper, salt, mustard, and vinegar.
A CELEBRATED quack, while holding forth on a stage of Chelmsford, in order to promote the sale of his medicine, told the people that he came there for their good, and not for want....