IN a country market a lady, laying her hand upon a joint of veal, said, Mr. Smallbone, I think this veal is not quite so white as usual.--Put on your gloves, madam, replied the but...
THE following complacent Scottish remark upon Bannockburn was made to a splenetic Englishman, who had said to a Scottish countryman that no man of taste would think of remaining an...
WHEN Thomas Sheridan was in a nervous, debilitated state, and dining with his father at Peter Moore's, the servant, in passing by the fire-place knocked down the plate-warmer, and...
COUNSELOR RUDD, of the Irish bar, was equally remarkable for his love of whist, and the dingy color of his linen. My dear Dick, said Curran to him one day, you can't think how puzz...
WE have to congratulate the Right Honorable Lord Brougham on the following piece of intelligence: Yarn has risen one farthing a
SCOTT is known to have profited much by Constable's bibliographical knowledge, which was very extensive. The latter christened Kenilworth, which Scott named Cumnor Hall. John Balla...
STERNE used to say, The most accomplished way of using books is to serve them as some people do lords, learn their titles and then brag of their acquaintance.
THE father of Mrs. Siddons had always forbidden her to marry an actor, and of course she chose a member of the old gentleman's company, whom she secretly wedded. When Roger Kemble...
THE only practical joke in which Richard Harris Barham (better known by his nom-de-plume of Thomas Ingoldsby) ever personally engaged, was enacted when he was a boy at Canterbury....
COLMAN and Banister dining one day with Lord Erskine, the ex-Chancellor, amongst other things, observed that he had then about three thousand head of sheep. I perceive, interrupted...
SIR W.G., when governor of Williamsburg, returned the salute of a negro who was passing. Sir, said a gentleman present, do you descend to salute a slave?--Why, yes, replied the gov...
TWO ladies disputed for precedency, one the daughter of a wealthy brewer, the other the daughter of a gentleman of small fortune. You are to consider, miss, said the brewer's daugh...
ONE of a party of friends, referring to an exquisite musical composition, said: That song always carries me away when I hear it.--Can anybody whistle it? asked Jerrold, laughing.
BROWN and Smith were met by an overdressed individual, Do you know that chap, Smith? said Brown. Yes, I know him; that is, I know of him,--he's a sculptor.--Such a fellow as that a...
ONE day a simple farmer, who had just buried a rich relation, an attorney, was complaining of the great expense of a funeral cavalcade in the country. Why, do you bury your attorne...
GRATTAN said of Hussey Burgh, who had been a great Liberal, but, on getting his silk gown, became a Ministerialist, that all men knew silk to be a non-conducting body, and that sin...
IT sounds like paradox,--and yet 'tis true, You're like your picture, though it's not like you.
BEGOT by butchers, but by bishops bred, How high his honor holds his haughty head!
ON one occasion a lad, while at home for the holidays, complained to his mother that a schoolfellow who slept with him took up half the bed. And why not? said the mother; he's enti...
LORD BYRON was once asked by a friend in the green-room of the Drury Lane Theatre, whether he did not think Miss Kelly's acting in the Maid and the Magpie exceedingly natural. I re...
A HARDY seaman, who had escaped one of the recent shipwrecks upon our coast, was asked by a good lady how he felt when the waves broke over him. He replied, Wet, ma'am,--very wet.
AN English officer lost his leg at the battle of Vittoria, and after suffering amputation with the greatest courage, thus addressed his servant who was crying, or pretending to cry...
A SWELL clerk from London, who was spending an evening in a country inn full of company, and feeling secure in the possession of most money, made the following offer. I will drop m...
A MAN, who pretended to have seen a ghost, was asked what the ghost said to him? How should I understand, replied the narrator, what he said? I am not skilled in any of the dead la...
THE Duke of L.'s reply, when it was observed to him, that the gentlemen bordering on his estates were continually hunting upon them, and that he ought not to suffer it, is worthy o...
JACOB JOHNSON, the publisher, having refused to advance Dryden a sum of money for a work upon which he was engaged, the incensed bard sent a message to him, and the following lines...
O DRY that tear so round and big, Nor waste in sighs your precious wind; Death only takes a single pig-- Your lord and son are still behind.
I SWEAR, said a gentleman to his mistress, you are very handsome.--Pooh! said the lady, so you would say if you did not think so.--And so you would think, answered he, though I sho...
ON the approach of the election at Westminster, when Earl Percy was returned, Mr. Denis O'Brien, the agent of Mr. Sheridan, said, that there were thousands in Westminster who would...
MR. NEVILLE, formerly a fellow of Jesus College, was distinguished, by many innocent singularities, uncommon shyness, and stammering of speech, but when he used bad words he could...