SOME years ago, says Richardson, in his anecdotes of painting, a gentleman came to me to invite me to his house. I have, says he, a picture of Rubens, and it is a rare good one. Li...
AT a shop-window in the Strand there appeared the following notice: Wanted, two apprentices, who will be treated as one of the family.
IN reading his name it may truly be said, You will make that man dy if you cut off his Hed.
A JACK-TAR just returned from sea, determined to commit matrimony, but at the altar the parson demurred, as there was not cash enough between them to pay the fees: on which Jack, t...
A GENTLEMAN, inquiring of Jack Bannister respecting a man who had been hanged, was told that he was dead. And did he continue in the grocery line? said the former. Oh no, replied J...
A SADDLE being missing at a funeral, it was observed, no wonder that nothing was heard of it, for it is believed to have been stolen by a mute.
A MEDICAL student under examination, being asked the different effects of heat and cold, replied: Heat expands and cold contracts.--Quite right; can you give me an example?--Yes, s...
A NOBLEMAN, extremely rich but a miser, stopping to change horses at Athlone, the carriage was surrounded by paupers, imploring alms, to whom he turned a deaf ear, and drew up the...
IT appears that there were two persons of the name of Dr. John Thomas, not easily to be distinguished; for somebody (says Bishop Newton) was speaking of Dr. Thomas, when it was ask...
DR. MACKNIGHT, who was a better commentator than preacher, having been caught in a shower of rain, entered the vestry soaked with wet. As the time drew on for divine service he bec...
SIR BOYLE ROCHE said, Single misfortunes never come alone, and the greatest of all possible misfortunes is generally followed by a much greater.
THE manager of a country theatre looked into the house between the acts, and turned with a face of dismay to the prompter, with the question of, Why, good gracious, where's the aud...
POPE dining once with Frederic, Prince of Wales, paid the prince many compliments. I wonder, Pope, said the prince, that you, who are so severe on kings, should be so complaisant t...
LORD BOTTETOT, in passing through Gloucester, soon after the cider tax, in which he was very unpopular, observing himself burning in effigy, he stopped his coach, and giving a purs...
CURRAN, hearing that a stingy and slovenly barrister had started for the Continent with a shirt and a guinea, observed, He'll not change either till he comes back.
LORD ALTHORP, when Chancellor of the Exchequer, having to propose to the House of Commons a vote of L400 a year for the salary of the Archdeacon of Bengal, was puzzled by a questio...
A JOLLY good fellow had an office next to a doctor's. One day an elderly gentleman of the foggy school blundered into the wrong shop: Dr. X---- in?--Don't live here, says P----, wh...
AN old offender being asked whether he had committed all the crimes laid to his charge, answered, I have done still worse! I suffered myself to be apprehended.
JERROLD said to an ardent young gentleman, who burned with a desire to see himself in print, Be advised by me, young man: don't take down the shutters before there is something in...
Mrs. Abingdon saw this inscription, and wrote under it,-- Then as like as two chips
JERROLD and a company of literary friends were out in the country. In the course of their walk, they stopped to notice the gambols of an ass's foal. A very sentimental poet present...
A GRAND entertainment taking place at Belvoir Castle, on the occasion of the coming of age of the Marquis of Granby, the company were going out to see the fireworks, when Theodore...
WALLER, the poet, who was bred at King's College, wrote a fine panegyric on Cromwell, when he assumed the protectorship. Upon the restoration of Charles, Waller wrote another in pr...
DR. LLOYD, Bishop of Worcester, so eminent for his prophecies, when by his solicitations and compliance at court he got removed from a poor Welsh bishopric to a rich English one, a...
A PRISONER being called on to plead to an indictment for larceny, was told by the clerk to hold up his right hand. The man immediately held up his left hand. Hold up your right han...
IRISH Johnstone, the comedian, was known to be rather parsimonious. On one of his professional visits to Dublin, he billeted himself (as was his wont) upon all his acquaintances in...
A WELL-BENEFICED old parson having a large company to dinner, entertained them with nothing else but the situation and profits of his parochial livings, which he said he kept entir...
ONE of Sir Boyle Roche's children asked him one day, Who was the father of George III.?--My darling, he answered, it was Frederick, Prince of Wales, who would have been George III....
A JUDGE asked a man what age he was. I am eight and fourscore, my lord, says he. And why not fourscore and eight? says the judge. Because, replied he, I was eight before I was four...
AN Irishman being asked which was oldest, he or his brother, I am eldest, said he, but if my brother lives three years longer, we shall be both of an age.