WE feel for climbing boys as much as anybody can do; but what is a climbing boy in a chimney to a full-grown suitor in the Master's office!
A COUNTRY schoolmaster was met by a certain nobleman, who asked his name and vocation. Having declared his name, he added, And I am master of this parish.--Master of this parish, o...
IN the great dispute between South and Sherlock, the latter, who was a great courtier, said, His adversary reasoned well, but he barked like a cur. To which the other replied, That...
VERY pure folks won't be held up to the light and shown to be very dirty bottles, without paying back hard abuse for the impertinence.
ONE of the best practical jokes in Theodore Hook's clever Gilbert Gurney, is Daly's hoax upon the lady who had never been at Richmond before, or, at least, knew none of the peculia...
A PRETTY little dog had written on its collar the following distich:-- This collar don't belong to you, sir, Pass on--or you may have one too, sir. The same person might have been...
TO wonder now at Balaam's ass, is weak; Is there a day that asses do not speak?
SHERIDAN was very desirous that his son Tom should marry a young woman of large fortune, but knew that Miss Callander had won his son's heart. Sheridan, expatiating on the folly of...
THIS is a vulgar error, as I'll prove, Or freely forfeit half a pipe of sherry; 'Tis plain one sixteenth part of Brougham's sense, Equals the whole possessed by L--d--d--y.
SERGEANT PRIME had a remarkably long nose, and being one day out riding, was flung from his horse, and fell upon his face in the middle of the road. A countryman, who saw the occur...
A MOTHER admonishing her son (a lad about seven years of age), told him he should never defer till to-morrow what he could do to-day. The little urchin replied, Then, mother, let's...
LORD WILLOUGHBY DE BROKE was a very singular character, and had more peculiarities than any nobleman of his day. Coming once out of the House of Peers, and not seeing his servant a...
WHEN a noble Admiral of the White, well known for his gallant spirit, his gentlemanly manners, and real goodness of heart, was introduced to William the Fourth, to return thanks fo...
A GENTLEMAN described to Jerrold the bride of a mutual friend. Why, he is six foot high, and she is the shortest woman I ever saw. What taste, eh? Ay, Jerrold replied, and only a t...
THE celebrated John Wilkes attended a City dinner not long after his promotion to city honors. Among the guests was a noisy vulgar deputy, a great glutton, who, on his entering the...
MRS. SMITH, hearing strange sounds, inquired of her new servant if she snored in her sleep. I don't know, marm, replied Becky, quite innocently; I never lay awake long enough to di...
JERROLD said to a very thin man, Sir, you are like a pin, but without the head or the point.
A CERTAIN noble lord being in his early years much addicted to dissipation, his mother advised him to take example by a gentleman, whose food was herbs and his drink water. What! m...
NED SHUTER thus explained his reasons for preferring to wear stockings with holes to having them darned:--A hole, said he, may be the accident of a day, and will pass upon the best...
AS a worthy city baronet was gazing one evening at the gas lights in front of the Mansion-house, an old acquaintance came up to him and said, Well, Sir William, are you studying as...
MY stars! cried a courtier, with stars and lace twirled, What homage we nobles command in the world! True, my lord, said a wag, though the world has its jars, Some people owe much...
WHEN Mr. Canning was about giving up Gloucester Lodge, Brompton, he said to his gardener, as he took a farewell look of the grounds, I am sorry, Fraser, to leave this old place.--P...
AT Durham assize a deaf old lady, who had brought an action for damages against a neighbor, was being examined, when the judge suggested a compromise, and instructed counsel to ask...
AFTER O'Connell had obtained the acquittal of a horse-stealer, the thief, in the ecstasy of his gratitude, cried out, Och, counsellor, I've no way here to thank your honor; but I w...
SAYS Giles, My wife and I are two, Yet, faith, I know not why, sir. Quoth Jack, You're ten, if I speak true; She 's one and you're a cipher.
THIS monarch, after the death of Jane Seymour, had some difficulty to get another wife. His first offer was to the Duchess Dowager of Milan; but her answer was, She had but one hea...
A PERSON wishing to test whether a daft individual, about whom a variety of opinions were entertained,--some people thinking him not so foolish as he seemed,--knew the value of mon...
DR. SOUTH, when once preaching before Charles II., observed that the monarch and his attendants began to nod, and some of them soon after snored, on which he broke off in his sermo...
SOME one was praising our public schools to Charles Landseer, and said, All our best men were public school men. Look at our poets. There's Byron, he was a Harrow boy----Yes, inter...