SHERIDAN was once talking to a friend about the Prince Regent, who took great credit to himself for various public measures, as if they had been directed by his political skill, or...
THREE conceited young wits, as they thought themselves, passing along the road near Oxford, met a grave old gentleman, with whom they had a mind to be rudely merry. Good-morrow, fa...
SIR FRANCIS BLAKE DELAVAL'S death had such an effect on Foote that he burst into tears, retired to his room, and saw no company for two days; the third day, Jewel, his treasurer, c...
(To those in want of employment.) Whoe'er will at the Gloucester's Head apply, Is always sure to find a vacancy.
IN King William's time a Mr. Tredenham was taken before the Earl of Nottingham on suspicion of having treasonable papers in his possession. I am only a poet, said the captive, and...
IN Edinburgh resided a gentleman, who is as huge, though not so witty, as Falstaff. It is his custom when he travels to book two places, and thus secure half the inside to himself....
JERROLD was seriously disappointed with a certain book written by one of his friends. This friend heard that Jerrold had expressed his disappointment.
IT is objected, and we admit often with truth, that the wealthy are ready to bestow their money, but not to endure personal inconvenience. The following anecdote is told in illustr...
DO you know what made my voice so melodious? said a celebrated vocal performer, of awkward manners, to Charles Bannister. No, replied the other. Why, then, I'll tell you: when I wa...
W----, they say, is bright! yet to discover The fact you vainly in St. Stephen's sit. But hold! Extremes will meet: the marvel's over; His very dulness is the extreme of wit.
(On interminable harangues.) YE fates that hold the vital shears, If ye be troubled with remorse, And will not cut ----'s thread of life, Cut then the thread of his discourse.
A CERTAIN well-known provincial bore having left a tavern-party, of which Burns was one, the bard immediately demanded a bumper, and, addressing himself to the chairman, said, I gi...
DR. PARR, who was neither very choice nor delicate in his epithets, once called a clergyman a fool, and there was probably some truth in his application of the word. The clergyman,...
A SOLDIER passing through a meadow, a large mastiff ran at him, and he stabbed the dog with a bayonet. The master of the dog asked him why he had not rather struck the dog with the...
A WEALTHY but weak-headed barrister once remarked to Curran that No one should be admitted to the Bar who had not an independent landed property.--May I ask, sir, replied Curran, h...
ON the trial of a cause in the Court of Common Pleas, Mr. Serjeant Vaughan having asked a witness a question rather of law than of fact, Lord Chief Justice Eldon observed, Brother...
WHEN Dr. Johnson visited Mrs. Siddons, he paid her two or three very elegant compliments. When she retired, he said to Dr. Glover, Sir, she is a prodigiously fine woman.--Yes, repl...
THERE is a very general notion, that if you once suffer women to eat of the tree of knowledge, the rest of the family will very soon be reduced to the same kind of aerial and unsat...
USE brandy externally until the hair grows, and then take it internally to clinch the roots.
AFTER the death of the poet Chatterton, there was found among his papers, indorsed on a letter intended for publication, addressed to Beckford, then Lord Mayor, dated May 26, 1770,...
YOU had better ask for manners than money, said a finely-dressed gentleman to a beggar who asked for alms. I asked for what I thought you had the most of, was the cutting reply.
SIR JAMES SCARLETT, when at the Bar, had to cross-examine a witness whose evidence it was thought would be very damaging, unless he could be bothered a little, and his only vulnera...
A QUAKER said to a gunner, Friend, I counsel no bloodshed; but if it be thy design to hit the little man in the blue jacket, point thine engine three inches lower.
DRYDEN'S translation of Virgil being commended by a right reverend bishop, Lord Chesterfield said, The original is indeed excellent; but everything suffers by a translation,--excep...
A YOUNG author reading a tragedy, perceived his auditor very often pull off his hat at the end of a line, and asked him the reason. I cannot pass a very old acquaintance, replied t...
A HUGE, double-sheeted copy of the Times newspaper was put into the hands of a member of the Union Club by one of the waiters. Oh, what a bore all this is, said the member, surveyi...
A SCOTTISH minister being one day engaged in visiting some members of his flock, came to the door of a house where his gentle tapping could not be heard for the noise of contention...
WHEN the late Lord Campbell married Miss Scarlett, and departed on his wedding trip, Mr. Justice Abbott observed, when a cause was called on in the Bench, I thought, Mr. Brougham,...
THE late Duke of York is reported to have once consulted Abernethy. During the time his highness was in the room, the doctor stood before him with his hands in his pockets, waiting...
A PRISONER in The Fleet sent to his creditor to let him know that he had a proposal to make, which he believed would be for their mutual benefit. Accordingly, the creditor calling...