TWO Miltons, in separate ages were born, The cleverer Milton 'tis clear we have got; Though the other had talents the world to adorn, This lives by his mews, which the other could...
ON the formation of the Grenville administration, Bushe, who had the reputation of a waverer, apologized one day for his absence from court, on the ground that he was cabinet-makin...
IT is related of the great Dr. Clarke, that when in one of his leisure hours he was unbending himself with a few friends in the most playful and frolicsome manner, he observed Beau...
WHY, pray, of late do Europe's kings No jester to their courts admit? They're grown such stately solemn things, To bear a joke they think not fit. But though each court a jester la...
IT was said of a Bath physician, that he could not prescribe even for himself without a fee, and therefore, when unwell, he took a guinea out of one pocket and put it into the othe...
IN one of Sir Robert Walpole's letters, he gives a very instructive picture of a skilful minister and a condescending Parliament. My dear friend, writes Sir Robert, there is scarce...
DR. MAGINN dining with a friend on ham and chicken, addressed Sukey Boyle, his friend's housekeeper, thus: You know, Boyle, what old Ovid, in his 'Art of Love' (book iii.), says; I...
A MR. JOHN SMITH, who is described, evidently not without reason, as a fast talker, gave the following description of the blowing up of a steamboat on the Mississippi: I had landed...
QUOTH Will, On that young servant-maid My heart its life-string stakes. Quite safe! cries Dick, don't be afraid, She pays for all she breaks.
LORD GREY complains that he cannot succeed in pleasing any party. He should follow the example of duellists, and by going out he would certainly give satisfaction.
(On ----'s ponderous speeches.) THOUGH Sir Edward has made many speeches of late, The House would most willingly spare them; For it finds they possess such remarkable weight, That...
THE late Lord Clonmel, who never thought of demanding more than a shilling for an affidavit, used to be well satisfied, provided it was a good one. In his time the Birmingham shill...
EXAMINING a country squire who disputed a collier's bill, Curran asked, Did he not give you the coals, friend?--He did, sir, but----But what? On your oath, witness, wasn't your pay...
IS a most sensible and valuable law, banishing gallantry and chivalry from Cabinets, and preventing the amiable antics of grave statesmen.
A GENTLEMAN at an inn, seeing that the lights were so dim as only to render the darkness visible, called out, Here, waiter, let me have a couple of decent candles to see how these...
IT was asked by a scholar why Master Thomas Hawkins did not marry Miss Blagrove; he was answered, He couldn't master her, so he missed her.
WHAT'S fashionable, I'll maintain Is always right, cries sprightly Jane; Ah! would to Heaven, cries graver Sue, What's right were fashionable too.
IF by their names we things should call, It surely would be properer, To term a singing piece a bawl, A dancing piece a hopperer!
DR. JOHNSON being asked his opinion of the title of a very small volume remarkable for its pomposity, replied, That it was similar to placing an eight-and-forty pounder at the door...
A FIRE-EATING Irishman challenged a barrister, who gratified him by an acceptance. The duellist, being very lame, requested that he might have a prop. Suppose, said he, I lean agai...
A POOR but clever student in the University of Glasgow was met by one of the Professors, who noticing the scantiness of his academical toga, said, Mr. ----, your gown is very short...
DR. GLYNN, whose name is still remembered in Cambridge, being one day in attendance on a lady, in the quality of her physician, took the liberty of lecturing her on the impropriety...
THE grass-plots in the college courts or quadrangles are not for the unhallowed feet of the under-graduates. Some, however, are hardy enough to venture, in despite of all remonstra...
IT was an observation of Elwes, the noted miser, that if you keep one servant your work will be done; if you keep two, it will be half done; and if you keep three, you will have to...
SIR WILLIAM B. being at a parish meeting, made some proposals which were objected to by a farmer. Highly enraged, Sir, said he to the farmer, do you know that I have been at two un...
IT was said of a work (which had been inspected by a severe critic), in terms which at first appeared very flattering, There is a great deal in this book which is new, and a great...
THE Rev. Mr. B----, when residing at Canterbury some years ago, was reckoned a good violoncello-player. His sight being dim obliged him very often to snuff the candles, and in lieu...
TWO women scolding each other, one said, Thou liest like a thief and a witch. The other replies, But thou liest like an almanac-maker; for thou liest every day and all the year lon...
WHEN Brummell was the great oracle on coats, the Duke of Leinster was very anxious to bespeak the approbation of the Emperor of the Dandies for a cut which he had just patronized....
GENERAL WOLFE invited a Scotch officer to dine with him; the same day he was also invited by some brother officers. You must excuse me, said he to them; I am already engaged to Wol...