Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensi...
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions. One mo...
All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terribl...
A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, he called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then...
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appe...
Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples ar...
An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny. The man asked for hel...
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. "Sidney thought of everything," she to...
A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe,...
A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER! When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant dung on rye. She calmly w...
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother. "Oh mamma!" sh...
An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement w...
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and proudly announced to the first man, "Congratulations, sir....
A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a...
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If, however, it just sits in your livi...
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought t...
A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. "Well," says the personnel director, "You'll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per...
Once upon a time there were two men who had gone cliff climbing. Suddenly, one man lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom. The other man frantically screamed, "Roger...
Young Boudreaux applied for an engineering job way, way up north in Shreveport. A local man applied for the same job and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked...
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking, "What wo...
A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Sou...
One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on...
A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafin' through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy. St. Peter goes through the Book...
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" The trembling monkey says, "...
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him." "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunder...
A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we really need...
John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned John that the...
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home." "Why?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watch...
A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!" He continues walking along the...
Three men were flying on a plane over the jungle when it crashed. They were the only people who survived. They decided that starting the next morning one of them would go out and m...