THE charity of Closefist give to fame, He has at last subscribed--how much?--his name.
HARRY ERSKINE made a neat remark to Walter Scott after he got his Clerkship of Session. The scheme to bestow it on him had been begun by the Tories, but (most honorably) was comple...
IN the museum at Abbotsford there is a small Roman patera, or goblet, in showing which Sir Walter Scott tells the following story: I purchased this (says he) at a nobleman's roup n...
AT the breaking up of a fashionable party at the west end of town, one of the company said he was about to drop in at Lady Blessington's; whereupon a young gentleman, a perfect str...
ON Dr. K----'s promotion to the bishopric of Down, an appointment in some quarters unpopular, Archbishop Whately observed, The Irish government will not be able to stand many more...
THE following anecdote was told with great glee at a dinner by William IV., then Duke of Clarence: I was riding in the Park the other day, on the road between Teddington and Hampto...
MR. DICKENS tells an American story of a young lady, who, being intensely loved by five young men, was advised to jump overboard, and marry the man who jumped in after her. Accordi...
AT a wedding the other day one of the guests, who often is a little absent-minded, observed gravely, I have often remarked that there have been more women than men married this yea...
On an apple being thrown at Mr. Cooke, whilst playing Sir Pertinax Mac Sycophant. SOME envious Scot, you say, the apple threw, Because the character was drawn too true; It can't be...
A GENTLEMAN leaving the company, somebody who sat next to Dr. Johnson asked who he was. I cannot exactly tell you sir, replied the doctor, and I should be loath to speak ill of any...
WHEN Lord Sandwich was to present Admiral Campbell, he told him, that probably the king would knight him. The admiral did not much relish the honor. Well, but, said Lord S., perhap...
THE best fellow in the world, sir, to get money of; for as he sends you half cash, half wine, why, if you can't take up his bill, you've always
MATHEWS'S attendant, in his last illness, intending to give him his medicine, gave in mistake some ink from a phial on a shelf. On discovering the error, his friend exclaimed, Good...
A MAN very deeply in debt, being reprimanded by his friends for his disgraceful situation, and the anxiety of a debtor being urged by them in very strong expressions: Ah! said he,...
GENERAL SUTTON was very passionate, and calling one morning on Sir Robert Walpole, who was quite the reverse, found his servant shaving him. During the conversation, Sir Robert sai...
A YOUNG lawyer who had been admitted about a year, was asked by a friend, How do you like your new profession? The reply was accompanied by a brief sigh to suit the occasion: My pr...
MR. BETHEL, an Irish barrister, when the question of the Union was in debate, like all the junior barristers published pamphlets upon the subject. Mr. Lysaght met this pamphleteer...
SCALIGER doth the curious fact advance, The early bishops used to join the dance, And winding, turning ----s shows us yet, That Bishops still know how to pirouette.
A GENTLEMAN, who did not live very happily with his wife, on the maid telling him that she was about to give her mistress warning, as she kept scolding her from morning till night....
AN old sea captain used to say he didn't care how he dressed when abroad, because nobody knew him. And he didn't care how he dressed when at home, because everybody knew him.
CHARLES II. and his brother James went to see Milton, to reproach him, and finished a profusion of insults with saying, You old villain! your blindness is the visitation of Provide...
LORD B----, who sported a ferocious pair of whiskers, meeting Mr. O'Connell in Dublin, the latter said, When do you mean to place your whiskers on the peace establishment?--When yo...
EVERY Cantab, it is presumed, knows where Shelford Fen is, and that it is famous for rearing geese. A luckless wight, who had the misfortune to be plucked at his examination for th...
IN spite of the ill-founded contempt Dr. Johnson professed to entertain for actors, he persuaded himself to treat Mrs. Siddons with great politeness, and said, when she called on h...
ADMIRAL BRIDPORT, speaking of the threatened invasion by the French in 1798, dryly observed, They might come as they could; for his own part, he could only say that they should not...
AN Irish lawyer, famed for cross-examining, was, on one occasion, completely silenced by a horse-dealer. Pray, Mr. ----, you belong to a very honest profession?--I can't say so, re...
AN arch boy was feeding a magpie when a gentleman in the neighborhood, who had an impediment in his speech, coming up, said, T-T-T-Tom, can your mag t-t-talk yet?--Ay, sir, says th...
SCOTLAND! thy weather's like a modish wife, Thy winds and rains for ever are at strife; So termagant awhile her thunder tries, And when she can no longer scold, she cries.
IN the House of Commons, the grand characteristic of the office of the Speaker is silence; and he fills the place best who best holds his tongue. There are other speakers in the Ho...
THOMSON, the author of the Seasons, was wonderfully indolent. A friend entered his room, and finding him in bed, although the day was far spent, asked him why he did not get up. Ma...