IT'S a great comfort for timid men, that beauty, like the elephant, doesn't know its strength. Otherwise, how it would trample upon us!--D.J.
AN ancient sage uttered the following apothegm:--The goodness of gold is tried by fire, the goodness of women by gold, and the goodness of men by the ordeal of women.
SIR WALTER SCOTT once happening to hear his daughter Anne say of something, that it was vulgar, gave the young lady the following temperate rebuke: My love, you speak like a very y...
YOU have already read that section four times, Mr. ----, said Maule to a prosing counsel. It's iteration! It's ----, I use no epithet, it is iteration; his look implying the anathe...
FOOTE, dining one day with Lord Townsend, after his duel with Lord Bellamont, the wine being bad, and the dinner ill-dressed, made Foote observe, that he could not discover what re...
THE Rev. William Cole, of Cambridge, nicknamed the Cardinal, was remarkable for what is called a comfortable assurance. Dining in a party at the University, he took up from the tab...
WHEN Jenny Lind, the Swedish Nightingale, gave a concert to the Consumption Hospital, the proceeds of which concert amounted to 1,776l. 15s., and were to be devoted to the completi...
JONATHAN and his friend Paddy were enjoying a delightful ride, when they came in sight of what is very unusual in any civilized state now-a-days--an old gallows or gibbet. This sug...
I CAN'T find bread for my family, said a lazy fellow in company. Nor I, replied an industrious miller; I am obliged to work for it.
ADMIRAL LORD HOWE, when a captain, was once hastily awakened in the middle of the night by the lieutenant of the watch, who informed him with great agitation that the ship was on f...
A CERTAIN lodging-house was very much infested by vermin. A gentleman who slept there one night, told the landlady so in the morning, when she said, La, sir, we haven't a single bu...
FOOTE was once met by a friend in town with a young man who was flashing away very brilliantly, while Foote seemed grave: Why, Foote, said his friend, you are flat to-day; you don'...
FOOTE, being annoyed by a poor fiddler straining harsh discord under his window, sent him out a shilling, with a request that he would play elsewhere, as one scraper at the door wa...
A DYER, in a court of justice, being ordered to hold up his hand, that was all black; Take off your glove, friend, said the judge to him. Put on your spectacles, my lord, answered...
HURRAH! Hurrah! cried a young lawyer, who had succeeded to his father's practice, I've settled that old chancery suit at last.--Settled it! cried the astonished parent, why I gave...
DR. ROBERTSON observed, that Johnson's jokes were the rebukes of the righteous, described in Scripture as being like excellent oil. Yes, exclaimed Burke, oil of vitriol!
WE don't sell spirits, said a law-evading beer-seller; we will give you a glass; and then, if you want a biscuit, we'll sell it to you for three ha'pence. The good creature was han...
A CERTAIN dramatic translator, introducing a well-known comedian to Madame Vestris, said: Madame, this is Mr. B----, who is not such a fool as he looks.--True, madame, said the com...
AN acquaintance remarked to Dr. Robert South, the celebrated preacher at the court of Charles the Second, Ah! doctor, you are such a wit! The doctor replied, Don't make game of peo...
THE proverb says, and no one e'er disputes, Nature the shoulder to the burden suits; Then nature gave to Saucemore with his head, Shoulders to carry half a ton of lead.
AS Romeo, Kean, with awkward grace, On velvet rests, 'tis said; Ah! did he seek a softer place, He'd rest upon his head.
A PROFESSOR of legerdemain entertained an audience in a village, which was principally composed of colliers. After astonishing the natives with various tricks, he asked the loan of...
THE present Lord Chancellor remarked of a young barrister who had just made a speech of more poetry than law, Poor young man, he has studied the wrong Phillips.
THE following admonition was addressed by a Quaker to a man who was pouring forth a volley of ill language against him: Have a care, friend, thou mayest run thy face against my fis...
A FRIEND was one day reading to Jerrold an account of a case in which a person named Ure was reproached with having suddenly jilted a young lady to whom he was engaged. Ure seems t...
MOLLIS abuti, Has an acuti, No lasso finis, Molli divinis. O mi de armis tres, Imi nadis tres, Cantu disco ver Meas alo ver?
WIT in an influential form was displayed by the Quaker gentleman soliciting subscription for a distressed widow, for whom everybody expressed the greatest sympathy. Well, said he,...
DELPINI had repeatedly applied to the Prince of Wales to speak to the Lord Chamberlain to grant him a license for a play at the Little Theatre in the Haymarket, always pleading pov...
AS Dick and Tom in fierce dispute engage, And, face to face, the noisy contest wage; Don't cock your chin at me, Dick smartly cries. Fear not--his head's not charged, a friend repl...